Surfing the Tao

 

Aloha and good morning to all fellow truth seekers. Today I am moved to share with you a post written not by me, but by Daniel Brenton, whose blog “High Oddness: The Universe According to Daniel Brenton” has me in stitches. Delightfully thought-provoking, Daniel’s universe also contains a wit and wisdom that will lighten your day. And we all need a little lightening these days, don’t we? Re-posted in its entirety with permission from the author. Please abide by his copyright, and do not reproduce this post without his express permission.  To read the original post, go to:

 

Round Files #003: We Know Why the Aliens Really Don’t Land

By Daniel Brenton

To my surprise, I have developed a level of notoriety in the UFO community as a relatively level-headed, reasonably intelligent “truthseeker,” and with this, a demonstrated willingness to use my weblogs as a place to disseminate uncomfortable revelations about government secrecy surrounding the UFO phenomenon.

This is of course only what anyone who wishes to think of him- or herself as a true American patriot is obliged to do. Anything less would be morally shameful, and rather than hiding under the covers in a fetal position and sucking my thumb for an extended period, I have chosen to rise above my undercover thumbsucking peers.

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a deeply sincere individual with the unfortunate name of John Hordure, who is the director of the League for Unified Non-cooperation with Exopolitical Enterprises (LUNEE).

LUNEE a small but fierce group of individualists working at the highest level of the American government, dedicated to “outing” the collaboration of not just our nation but several other nations with an extraterrestrial alliance that seeks to keep its presence hidden for what was, until now, an equally secret agenda.

Here then is a statement from John Hordure, revealing the true reason for UFO secrecy for the last 52 years. – Daniel

•

Ladies and gentlemen:

Once again with the mass sightings of Unidentified Flying Objects over Stephensville, Texas — just as with the O’Hare sighting of November of 2006, and the Phoenix Lights sightings of eleven years ago, large numbers of credible witnesses have come forward with stories of something of undeniable significance, and once again official sources at all levels brush the event aside as if it were of no significance.

It would be very easy to get caught up in the outrage against the apparent policies of denial on all government fronts, and the unofficial, “gentleman’s agreement” of ridicule conducted by the media outlets and any other group or individual in the public and private sectors who consciously seeks to support the status quo for their own interests.

But I urge you to not let this distract you from a much more important issue.

There is the age-old question everyone who has spent even the smallest amount of time thinking about the subject: Why don’t they just land on the White House lawn?

I am disseminating this statement to make you aware that we have learned the true reason as to why the aliens really don’t land, and it is my obligation to tell you.

Consider, every time these visitors deliberately show themselves to Earthly witnesses, the witnesses either refuse to believe it, or any attention focused on their event becomes a dismissal or an open attack of ridicule.

It has come to our attention that these responses to extraterrestrial visits are the funniest thing in our region of the galaxy.

Remember, we have been broadcasting radio signals, not just to audiences on Earth, but as well into space for a little over one hundred years, and likewise have been broadcasting television programming for nearly sixty years. Because of this, technological societies in nearby interstellar space know everything they need to know about us.

The actual reason they don’t reveal themselves to us because they don’t take us seriously and consider us vastly inferior to them.

Candidly, they feel we are a species of brain-damaged idiots.

Shortly after Kenneth Arnold’s sighting in June of 1947, the media broadcasts in the aftermath, fed by various news organizations and official government statements, started characterizing the appearance of extraterrestrial visitors as the delusional imaginings of crackpots, and began their now familiar pattern of treating the subject with ridicule, contempt, and mocking humor.

The extraterrestrial races intercepting these signals thought these reactions were simply hysterical.

It has been noted by a number of UFO researchers that the level of visitations and sightings, as projected by statistical analysis of the available data, points to as much as hundreds of UFO events daily world-wide. This has always seemed nonsensical to the research community, but becomes perfectly reasonable once the reason for them was understood.

These are tourists.

This is why they crash so often. They have bad drivers, too.

In the Earth year of 1949, the Galactic Broadcasting Company (the largest intragalactic media network in the Milky Way) assembled their equivalent of home videos taken by UFO visitors to Earth for a broadcast program called (to translate it loosely) The Galaxy’s Funniest Videos (or TGFV for short). It was a smash hit from its very first episode, and is still going strong, making it the longest running program in intragalactic network history.

Since its beginning the show has featured the equivalent of home videos made by extraterrestrial visitors, and has included Earth news broadcasts and media coverage of the UFO phenomenon as part of its content.

TGFV offers what is considered by galactic standards lavish prizes for the best submitted “video” of each installment of the show, and best one for each broadcast season. Because of this program’s popularity, extraterrestrial visitors have, for decades, been caught in a game of upstaging each other in creating increasingly bizarre events to record and submit. The more bizarre, nonsensical, or paradoxical the event naturally tends to produce a greater comic effect on the hapless human witnesses.

A long standing favorite was in fact the event staged around a Joe Simonton in Wisconsin back in 1961. In this event, a flying saucer landed on his property and three human-looking pilots wearing turtleneck sweaters asked for a container they had brought to be filled with water. The punchline of this video was where the pilots gave a befuddled Mr. Simonton three small, crispy pancakes in return. In fact, a stylized image of Mr. Simonton’s puzzled expression at that moment became an icon representing monumental stupidity, which was in popular use for decades.

Because of the competitive nature of the submissions, the humor has become much more aggressive since this time.

Early on, the Galactic Broadcasting Company (GBC for short) recognized that if the true nature of alien visitations became general knowledge by the peoples of Earth, then the events that extraterrestrial tourists stage for submission to TGFV would no longer produce as humorous a reaction for their audience. The show would fall in the ratings, get canceled, and the network would lose their “cash cow.”

Here is where the the conspiracy comes in.

An offer was made in 1952 by the board of the GBC via conventional radio to the heads of the governments of the United States, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, China, Japan, and Australia. This agreement was in fact signed by Dwight Eisenhower, acting on behalf of the participating nations, on August of 1954 at Holloman Air Force Base. A small addendum was also signed by Eisenhower, in February of 1955, at Holloman.

The substance of this agreement is that, in exchange for official denial of UFOs on the part of each country’s government by the agencies under its authority, the GBC would provide 50 receivers and broadcast signal to the leaders of that participating national government.

Yes, you read that right.

The multi-government UFO conspiracy is actually an agreement for the most privileged leaders and power brokers of each nation to get the interstellar equivalent of cable television.

What proof do I have of these provocative allegations?

I have a copy of the contract Eisenhower signed in 1954, and we are making every effort to provide this on our website as soon as possible. It is a long document — about 6500 pages — and in places uses some alien words that don’t translate well into English. But we hopefully will have this for you shortly.

Additionally, I have seem some of this programming personally. There are no words to convey what an intense, multi-dimensional experience this programming is. There is no equivalent experience in the human realm. It is, if you will forgive the comparison, like trying to explain sex to someone who has never experienced it.

Experiencing these programs is in fact life-altering, and potentially life-threatening. With the assistance of a number of high-placed individuals sympathetic to our cause I was able to experience this myself. In the immediate aftermath I went through four months of treatment for withdrawal symptoms after watching twenty-seven and a half minutes of their equivalent of the Playboy Channel.

We have learned there is an above-top-secret human twelve-step group for fellow victims of this addiction, but it has a very low success rate.

We have also learned that those who are in denial of the addictive power of just this programming have formed a international ritual sex cult at the highest levels of society. Though Stanley Kubrick did not know how this group came into existence, this is in fact what his movie Eyes Wide Shut was based upon.

As you will see in the contract when we are able to make it available that part of the secrecy agreement included a concession of 4000 tons of strawberry ice cream annually. This is an interesting story in itself, but space precludes me from going into it here.

Most people presented with the facts I have related to you today think I am relating some kind of twisted joke.

I assure you, I am not joking.

The truth is so bizarre it practically guarantees it’s own secrecy. Who would possibly believe it?

The almost diabolical cleverness on the part of the GBC in creating this secrecy is not lost on those of us in the LUNEE organization.

I, for one, am indignant. Because of this conspiracy, we are being humiliated in the eyes of the interstellar community. We are continuing to be made the laughing stock of the Milky Way for the sake of exploitative commercial interests. And to add insult to injury, not just the American government, but the governments of several major powers in the world are aiding and abbetting this effort.

The sheer arrogance demonstrated by the acts of this extraterrestrial corporation is simply galling, and the fact our leaders sought to cooperate with this and continue to do so to this day</